im stupid

trying to study for my summer finals. bored and not really determined what.so.ever. chamomile tea is the best when it storming outside. 

According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly ~aaron freeman

I don’t think that I have a really bad eye problem because my vision goes only at a 100 and it doesnt go as far as like for my dad, bro and sis but I do wear my glasses on days that my vision just totally fails me…….like right now. My astigmatism kicked in really bad and I cant even focus on ANYTHING! its so bad that even if I wear my glasses it DOESN’T GO AWAY! omg I feel blind right now. I can’t even see what I’m typing right now, hopefully it makes sense. I need to go to sleep. I think my eyes are just tired. so toodles

I never knew that summer school can be this stressful, more than a regular semester *in a full semester you get weeks off…..In a span of 4 weeks I’ve been in and out of the city to visit different hospitals. All are at least 3 hours away and a requirement to stay there for 3 days. After that come back to school the next day and have lecture for 3 days starting from 7:30 until 3:00! no rest at all….everyday quiz and I have a comprehensive exam tomorrow and after that would be my psych  and logic finals…….

1st week: Here in the city actually, the Baguio General Hospital and I was assigned to the emergency ward. HECTIC

2nd week: We went to Ilocos Training and Regional Medical Center, we were in the operating room…..dang I got at least 5 cases which is a really good thing. Got to see different types of operations. Totally harder than the first week but it gives me more of a fulfilling feeling. I always wanted to be in the operating ward. Oh yeah my anxiety level was really up haha. Still the best though. *It was hot everywhere, the aircon wasn’t working and I got tons of mosquito bites.

3rd week: Me and my group was assigned to a Dialysis center in Dagupan. I was there last semester so it wasn’t that bad. The hospital had wifi and it was airconed which I was happy about. It was one of those really chill duties. The housing was terrible though, got more insect bites and it was seriously painfully hot….I got skin asthma and also my cheeks got sun burnt!! but nonetheless we were lucky enough to catch up with the Bangus Festival and it was my first. It was seriously seafood porn everywhere. The besttttttttt!

4th week: So I just got home from the Psychiatric ward in Dagupan. It was also hot, no aircon and it was really hard for me to breath since it was seriously a prison inside. You cant go in or out without asking the staff to open all the doors. Poor ventilation and to add unto it, you have to talk to mentally ill patients and ask them why they got to that state. It was a challenge because I’m naturally scared of crazy people *violent ones….because you may never know when they randomly snap and start hitting you. Yeah my patient did that, a week ago he told me that one of the other patients was looking at him weird and he needed to punch his guts for it. No regrets too. I was shocked but you can’t really expect much from them since they are sick. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia so maybe the voices in his head tells him things. Also since it was a private hospitals the patients  came from a really wealthy family. My patient came from San Jose and the others from Cali too. I think it was easy for me to talk to them because of that. It was also weird how my clinical instructor was listening me talk to my patients and told me that whenever I talked it seemed like I was singing hahaha. I never noticed that. 

But yeah……..laters I’m really too tired. Adios.Amigos.

so its been 2 days that I’ve been working in the emergency ward and I would say that its exciting……..or another word would be invigorating. All the skills that I’ve learned for 3 years all came out and started to stumble into each other. The doctors probably thought that I was pretty much of a goofball. But you can’t really blame the first timers can you? it was 8 hours of running around getting to know all this badly hurt people. Some were nice and some were slightly crazy but still……nice….when you tell them to “breath in deeply and slowly”. One of my techniques I guess. Oh yeah I wasn’t trying to exaggerate when I said crazy people….really….crazy……

Even though it was tiring I still think that its fun. Just the thought of saving people really gives me the chills….in a good way…….

So one more year and many more to go :)